THE DEATH OF ONE

After my mother died, nothing made sense anymore, not my job, not my marriage, not my life. Nothing mattered at all. I simply went through the motions. I wanted, and still want, to die. I did not want to be on this planet without my mother at my side. My loving wife of over 13 years was unable to ease my loss or pain. I did not care that she too was suffering at the loss of my mother. I forgot that my wife had a relationship all her own with my mother and that she too had lost someone close to her. I was so distraught by my mother’s death that I would eventually lose my job, I would destroy my marriage to a wonderful woman, and I would turn to stranger that would provide the illusion of comfort. FYI, it has been over five years, and I have yet to find that comfort from anyone else other than my now ex-wife. I think she would appreciate me referring to her as my ex-wife. Turns out, she is ready to move on after three years of separation. The only problem I have with that problem now is that I am finally ready to get my life back in order. That is the story of my life; the world is not ready for what I am ready for at the same time I am ready for it. We conflict, the world and I.